Parklet Life

Apologies to Paradox Interactve for the horrible opening pun!

So, for the first time in what seems like a long time, there have been some public realm improvements here in Ballincollig, the suburb of Cork where I live. It is, admittedly, a minor upgrade, but it's a nice step in the right direction.

What the hell is that guy talking about now? Has he been smoking weird stuff again? Nope, no need, I’m stoned by nature. Seriously though, recently, a so-called Parklet was installed on Main Street. Parklets are essentially small public seating & planting structures designed to be slotted into a space not much larger than one or two car parking spaces. There's been one of these on Douglas Street in Cork City for quite some time. Finally, back in Fall of 2020, Cork City Council announced both the funding and later the location for ten additional parklets throughout the city, including the one on Main Street that was so recently installed. These parklets are being set up in cooperation with local businesses and citizen's associations, something that is definitely to be welcomed, given the piss-poor record the city council has when it comes to providing even basic maintenance for any sort of public infrastructure.

Fully planted Parklet in place outside the Imperial Hotel in the city centre

Here in Ballincollig, the council has partnered with the local Tidy Towns committee, who have been doing stalwart work when it comes to maintaining the public realm in town. There's a reason why Ballincollig has repeatedly won nationwide competitions in that regard. When the whole thing was announced on social media however, particularly on Facebook, the reaction was unequivocally hostile. It seems that even the loss of two car parking spaces is enough for certain suburban demographics to declare an outright jihad against any supposed offenders. It’s even more bizarre when you consider that there are no less than four large car parks within easy walking distance of this new parklet. Seriously, the sheer caterwauling because Seamus and Mary-Lou suddenly can't park their two tonne wankpanzer on that one particular spot had to be seen to be believed! 

All those empty spaces in the Parklet in Ballincollig were still waiting to be planted with flowers and the like when I first went down to check it out.

These diatribes clearly show, just how ingrained cars have become in Irish society, or indeed in western society in general. Public space that is not made available for car parking is considered wasted space and any attempt at redirecting public space for use, you know, a sidewalk, a cycle lane or, as in this case, a park, is seen as a direct assault, and theft of freedom and independence. It would be hilarious if it wasn’t so damned sad! The negative effects of pollution, particularly by cars, on human development at all stages are well documented, yet an entire generation seems to have been brainwashed into literally desire gassing themselves.

As you can see here, it cost barely more than one parking space to get it installed. An absolute non-issue, if you ask me!

This is the level of ignorance and entitlement that is being shown by motorists in Cork on a daily basis. The driver of that Seat drove into a pedestrianised area and left his car there. Huge kudos to the staff of the Rob Roy Bar for boxing that guy in and not budging, that should happen more often!

One of the arguments that is reliably trotted out when it comes to this issue is “but what about the disabled?” or “what about the elderly?” I can’t talk about the elderly, as my grandparents have long since passed away, but from my experience with my parents, who towards the end of their lives were increasingly inhibited by various cancers, I can say with some certainty that being able to drive absolutely everywhere and parking in front of every door is far from the panacea it is made out to be. In fact, negotiating tightly parked cars and high curbs, as well as narrow sidewalks, was far more stressful for my parents than walking 100 meters or so. What both of them really needed were wide sidewalks and regular benches, which is exactly what is missing in most Irish cities and towns. Granted, Ballincollig is in a pretty good space in this regard already. The entire town centre was reworked in recent decades to provide those wide sidewalks I mentioned. There’s still almost no place to sit down though, which is something that is addressed by this new parklet. 

Finally, there’s one rather large elephant in the room that needs to be addressed, and that’s the conduct towards the organisers of this parklet, the local Tidy Towns committee. These guys and girls are tirelessly working to make Ballincollig look better and honestly, they’re doing a fantastic job. It’s not an organisation that I would participate in, but one cannot help but admire their dedication to both the town and their job. The fact that Ballincollig regularly ends up in the top spots in national competitions is in no small part due to their tireless efforts. To go out and vilify them on a public forum for trying something new and creating a new space for people to meet, one that is being used already despite not even being planted yet, is simply appalling and speaks of an incredible sense of entitlement on behalf of the individuals involved. These people should really take a long hard look at themselves and ask what they are doing to make their local community a better place. And as far as I’m concerned, they can start by just shutting the fuck up!