There’s no way around it. Between job loss, burnout, mental health issues and my recent MS diagnosis, the last few years haven’t exactly been easy for me. Even now, as I’m writing this, there are a number of uncertainties that make the way forward for me rather nebulous, if not outright treacherous. But that’s not why I’m writing this. I don’t want to turn this into the type of woe me post that seems to be the norm on social media these days. Don’t get me wrong, the world is going to hell in a hand basket, but that’s not why I’m writing this. I can’t actually tell you why I’m writing this because my train of thought just derailed spectacularly, but I guess that’s just the risk you run when you write a blog post completely without notes, like I did back in the old days of 2009 to 2012! Let me just get back on track here, will ya?
*Windows XP startup sound*
Aaah, that’s better! Now, where were we? Ah yes. Not wanting to turn this into a “poor me kind of post. If you’ve read my blog over the last year or two, this blog in particular, you’ll have noticed that I’ve tended to write mostly about rather prosaic stuff. Tech reviews (I AM a gadget nerd, after all!), urbanism, public transport related topics and the occasional travelogue make up most of my blog content. And while these posts can get contemplative at times, they’re rarely ever that personal. Indeed, the last truly personal post I wrote was all the way back in 2019, when it hadn’t even been two years since my parents had died and I was still dealing with all kinds of demons.
Thankfully, I’m in a much better place these days. Nearly two years of therapy have helped with that of course, as has regular meditation. However, I’ve also found myself far more perceptive of the little moments of beauty and bliss all around me. Whether it’s the sunlight playing on the perpetually green fields where I live, savouring the balmy air on a summer’s evening on my balcony, drinking in the intense colours and crisp air that for some reason only seem to come out in early autumn, or the simple pleasure of that first sip of coffee in the morning, all of these inconsequential moments often go by unnoticed, but I’ve come to enjoy them whenever they come around.
More than that though, I’ve come to capture them where feasible. This is one of those unsung advantages of our modern era, the ability to not just create memories in your mind, but document them for later. For me, this started in the wake of my hospital stay back in 2022, although it only really kicked off in summer 2023, once I’d properly come back to life if you will. Maybe it was the injury and subsequent surgery, maybe it was the visit to my parents’ grave back in Germany, but from that moment onward, I made sure to capture those moments of simple, fleeting beauty. Be it my iPad or laptop on a café table, flowers beginning to bloom in spring, a summer’s afternoon by the river, or the ethereal beauty of the northern lights when they make a rare appearance here in Ireland.
These photos are not meant for social media fame. They are an anchor, A way to keep the spark alive when the nights invariably draw in, the early autumn sunshine gives way to the rains and storms of that season, and the darker denizens of my mind inevitably reach out and spread their tendrils, trying to drag me back into that sphere of oppressive bleakness that I’ve become all too familiar with. Pictures alone cannot overcome this, but they remind me of the beauty that is all around us and that, yes, even in the darkest of moments, it is worth to keep fighting, keep pushing.
I don’t know what the future is going to bring, either for me or for the world as a whole, but I know that there are reasons all around us to keep going. There is a beauty in the mundane that often goes unappreciated, and taking the time to savour these fleeting moments of beauty is one of the things that makes life worthwhile for me.
Comments
Post a Comment